Hell Hath No Fury - Just a Sense of Humor

The mere mention of Halloween conjures up images of demons, witches, devils, and all sorts of ghastly creatures traditionally associated with hell.  It is a time of year in which we collectively embrace the absurd and welcome fear in the name of fun.  Naturally it's a season for Hell...Hell, Michigan, that is. 

No one knows for certain how the tiny town got its name.  There are a few different theories batted about by locals, but the truth is, the change happened more than a century ago, so there are no witnesses to confirm nor deny the tall tales. 

One popular version revolves around the pioneer and former mill owner, George Reeves.  Wheat, grown in the rich soil in the region, led to his very prosperous mill, which eventually churned out over one hundred barrels of flour a day.  It was more than enough to meet the demand, so George established a rather successful moonshine operation with the surplus wheat.  Legend has it that horses would appear riderless and mayhem ensued as local men imbibed.  Wives questioned about their whereabouts claimed, "He's gone to Hell."  Thus, when the state came a calling in 1841 and asked George what to name his town, he allegedly replied "You can call it Hell for all I care, everyone else does."  So by that manner or some other, his little slice of Livingston County officially became known as Hell on October 13, 1841.

Shakespeare posed, "What's in a name?  That which we call a rose by any other would smell as sweet."   It seems to me, that may be true of roses, but not of Hell, Michigan.  In this case, everything is in the name, and locals know it.  The town features a country store, ice cream parlor, restaurant, and even a wedding chapel (popular among those who said it would be a cold day in...well you know the rest).  Businesses are adorned with bright signs, creatures, fire, and humorous puns that tie to the theme, and naturally things really heat up for Halloween.

In contrast to typical fear-driven celebrations, Halloween in Hell is decidedly light and family-friendly.  “Screams” (a.k.a. The Scariest Ice Cream Parlor on Earth), for example, features build-your-own sundaes.  The delectable treats are served from a coffin, where the big portions of ice cream are called Frankenscoops and chocolate chips are known as Hog Warts.  You can even order a fruity BrainFreeze.  Throughout October Screams hosts its infamous Hell-O-Holloweekends, complete with face painting, a children's costume parade, and a petting zoo where reportedly even the duck's dressed in his best Halloween vest.

For those who want to take the town's sense of humor with them, there is merchandise galore at Screams as well as the Country Store.  T-shirts, mugs, signs, and numerous other paraphernalia make the most of the quirky name, with some even denoting the irony that Michigan is home to both Hell and Paradise.  There are also oodles of Halloween-themed items in stock, including lights and decorations for your home.

Nearby, and just across the little creek, you'll find the Dam Site Inn.  I doubt that meandering little stream merits a dam, but the pub is an asset, offering up affordable American fare amidst flickering flames and devilish decor.  They feature live entertainment every Friday and Saturday night.

Despite the controversial name, minute acreage, and tiny population (less than 300) this unique Michigan community, is worth a visit, especially at this time of year.  Whichever route you take, the road there is indeed paved, and quite beautiful.  Fall colors, winding pathways, rolling hills, and surprising vistas can be found in and around the area.  Be careful not to blink though, or you could miss your final destination.

Hell, Michigan is located on Patterson Lake Road, near Pinckney, in Livingston County.